I was kinda ornery when I was 10 or so. And I was out for REVENGE! See I had a cousin named "Mike." "Mike" liked nothing so much as eating his own nose droppings. He'd think nothing of blowing his nose... well you can just use your own imagination. That'll be bad enough! 

So one beautiful Summer day some friends and I were riding our bikes around the neighborhood annoying older people and enjoying ourselves in the blissful way only a group of 10 year olds who've formed a bicycle gang called "The Falcons" could. Our mothers were furious when they found we'd executed our gang logo on all our t-shirts in permanent marker. 

Anyway, this was a relatively normal day. We'd been to Troy Manor Trails riding up hill and down dale on then undeveloped land near our neighborhood. On the way home we stopped off at a little mom and pop grocery to spend the quarters we scammed off our moms. 

But today, among the usual taffy, bubblegum cards with gross deformed garbage pale kids and all the rest, there was something new. Something with a funny name. ZOTZ! What the HE-- was THIS? We soon found out. And I had a target. My slimy cousin "Mike". I was practically giddy with laughter and giggling as The Falcons swooped in on cousin "Mike's" house a few blocks away. With our excellent new candy. And I wanted to share! "Mike" was in the front yard torturing bugs or in the practice of some such sickening pursuit.

"Hey Mike!"

"Hey! Whatchoo guys doin'?"

"Nuthin'. We just got this GREAT NEW CANDY!!"

"Can I have some??", he asked, playing right into my hands! I knew this was going to be special!

"Oh yeah! You GOTTA try THIS! The filling in the center is SO GOOD! But ya gotta bite down right into it. The center's so CHEWY and GOOD!" "Mike" was literally slobbering and his nose was just gettin' good and sniffy too in anticipation.

Wow. This was too good to be true! Normally a pretty good kid in spite of my indelible Falcons shirts, I was really enjoying this moment of being bad. Revenge or not. But...a Falcon's gotta do what a Falcon's gotta do. BOY did I!

"Mike" took the ZOTZ candy outa my hand. One wonderful piece. He couldn't WAIT to experience the delicious creaminess I'd described. Into the mouth, swirling it around. We all yelled "CHEW IT! CHEW IT!!!"

CRUNCH...his eyes widened. Wider. Widest. His cheeks puffed. Puffier. The explosion escaped. NOSE FIRST. Jaws forced apart. Mouth thrown open. The powdery center ZOTZED. A flock of Falcons swooped away to hunt another day.